Learning from the past, looking to the future

It has been three months since I completed the Vendee Globe race and finished what is undoubtedly the greatest achievement of my life. It feels like an age ago and the return to normal life has not been smooth. 

The Vendee Globe race was such a huge event in my life. For the two years prior to the start, I had focussed on nothing else. Every morning I woke up knowing exactly where I was going and what I was doing. I had incredible purpose and focus - it had to be that way because I started the project with nothing other than a vision and the determination to work hard and make it happen.

As my campaign grew, my team grew, but as is often the way with a growing enterprise, this did not lead to any less work for me. I just found new things to do and put the same energy and effort into those things.

The more people invested in my campaign the more determined I became to deliver more back to them. I owed it to everyone not only myself to make the most of the incredible opportunity we had created. I could not be more proud of what we - my team, my sponsors, my supporters delivered together. It was brilliant.

Coming home after this has been difficult. To step out of the ultimate freedom of sailing a boat solo around the world, into a locked down Britain where I was only allowed to leave the house for exercise and essential travel was a shock to the system. I don’t really think I fully engaged with how much that affected me. I know, of course, that I have had it easy compared to the rest of the planet who endured a winter in lock down mode. But nevertheless it was a hard adjustment to make. Like running at full pelt into a brick wall - one minute I was flying the next I was caged.

I knew there would be a come down after the race and so set my mind on some intermediate goals to ensure I had direction and keep me from falling into the black hole that is inevitable when you lose a major part of your life. The primary two aims were to get fit again; to try and get my body back into a shape I recognised and was comfortable with. I lost close to 10 kilos during the race and by the last two weeks afloat I could feel my body was becoming weak - I still felt fit, but managing the sails and lifting heavy weights was becoming progressively harder. When I got back onto the land I could not walk for longer than an hour without my legs and feet hurting. This is hugely frustrating to someone who loves running distance; running has been my go to sport to clear my head and put the world to rights if I can’t get on the water.

My second goal was to get my next Vendee campaign off the ground. There was no hesitation in my mind. From the outset this would be at least a two race campaign. My first race was about just making it happen - take whatever I could and bring a campaign into being. I knew it would be hard and that so many others have tried and failed. I decided that I wouldn't restrict my own ambitions through only settling for a gold-plated version of my dream. Any starting point was better than none and I had to make the most of what I had.

All the way around the world I knew I was where I wanted to be. The race tested me, improved me, allowed me to stretch in so many ways and just in case you hadn’t noticed…. I love sailing! I kept waiting for that feeling of ‘I hate this, I don’t want to be here’  to overwhelm me but it never came. So when I stepped off the boat at the end of the race I was determined to make Vendee 2024 happen.

So. 87 days have passed since the Vendee Globe race finished. Nearly another Vendee Globe race again (I do wonder if my entire life from now will be counted in Vendee Globe races). It is time for me to step back out into the light again and share with you all how I have been getting on.

On the first goal of fitness I have to admit it has been a struggle and I am a long way from where I imagined I would be. Probably, knowing myself, I was over-ambitious and on reflection I needed a break. My body was tired, but my mind even more so. The emotional, mental and physical energy I have put into the last two and a half years has taken its toll and I have not bounced back in the way I hoped. I have been battling with injuries which have stopped me from impact exercise, the most recent of which is rib fractures caused by a stumble while off road running. However the implications of the weight loss have also been hard to deal with. In the classic yo-yo response to hard calorie deficit my body piled on weight as soon as I started eating an unrestricted diet. The result now leaving me overweight and struggling to get my diet back in control.  The answer I know is to take it gently. Re-establish my base line, let my body learn again what normal means and I can’t expect results too quickly. It is a massive point of frustration for me. I value my physical ability enormously. I am happiest when I am taking part in a physical activity. I am working slowly through this frustration and disappointment and have to keep reminding myself to play the long game and give myself time.

Getting the next stage of my Vendee journey off the ground has meant more to me than anything else over the last three months. I felt so much potential had been created through the first race, I did not want to waste it and other people felt the same. I have had a clear vision of what my next campaign would look like. What I wanted to achieve, how I would do that, what we would build on, who would be involved, what we would do differently. I have not been alone working on that and the core team who supported me so incredibly during my race have been there to add to the vision.

It has now been three months of hard graft. Since I got back to the UK I have not stopped. It’s been long days and late nights of planning, budgeting, articulating how, why and what we would do over the next three and a half years to go ‘next level’ in the Vendee Globe. It’s been emotional and exhausting but I have never wavered from the goal and kept my foot on the gas for as long as was needed.

So that’s why I’ve been quiet. I made a decision not to keep sharing my life, to stand back a bit from social media when I got back from the race. Sharing what is so personal to me is not something I am always comfortable to do. I am naturally camera shy and I don’t like to share content unless there is genuinely something of interest to say. I guess I feel my life on the land is just like anyone else’s and because I’ve been struggling with myself and to get fit again its made me even more reluctant to share.

But as I am someone that always tries to look forward, learn from the past but look to the future, I have put these frustrations aside and my energy has been channeled into bringing the next chapter into reality. I didn’t want to share these things until they were real. But now it is time to start talking again. 

Very soon I will have some news to share. The next leg of the journey has been clearly mapped out and it is going to be incredible. It’s a huge step for me but I am not starting out alone. You will all be coming with me.

I can’t tell you anymore than that. Please look at my website and social media feeds later this week to hear all about it.